Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Game diary, MU-UT

By Tiger Fan
I've decided to keep a game diary when watching big MU games at home on TV. Final score was UT-66, MU-53. Here's how it all went down:

8:03 p.m.: I’m still on the way home from dinner with Tiger Fannette when the games starts, so I’ll listen to the first few minutes with Gary Link and Mike Kelly

8:10: The Tigers are up 5-0 and I just passed a car playing the Andy Griffith Show on its in-car DVD player. I’m not sure which one I think is weirder.

8:15: As we head to the first commercial time out, I miss my exit coming home. Then, I am almost run off the road by a mini-van and hit a curb. Rough timeout.

8:19: Mike Kelly informs me that Governor Matt Blunt is in attendance. Alone in my car, I scream “Why aren’t you at the SMS game?”

8:23: I pull into my parking lot as Texas takes its first lead… now I can watch the game and get some witty insight from my friends.

8:26: Kevin Young just threw down a big dunk while moving. Why doesn’t this usually happen? We didn’t even know it was possible. And this just in: It seems that our friend Yellow Suit Guy has some imitators. Two knock-offs in the front row of Zou Crew.

8:35: After Kalen Grimes passes out of a post move and tries to go under the rim for a layup on consecutive possessions, my friend Scott hits the nail on the head: “Why is Kalen Grimes playing like a girl?” It's truly a sad state of affairs when your team must rely solely on Kevin Young to win.

8:46: Gardner finally scores. Now Ron Franklin can stop calling him “pointless”

8:53: Mizzou trails by 8 at the half when my friend Mike lets fly with this: “Mike Alden should be decapitated and his head should be placed on a stake at the corner of University and College as a warning to all future athletic directors. Even if they don’t fire Alden he should still be kicked in the balls for the way he pronounces Missouri. Good old Alden and Popcorn Head have dropped our b-ball program beyond recovery.” Can you feel the anger?

9:10: A quick third foul on Marshall Brown brings Glen Dandridge back in the game and leads to this exchange between me and my friend Scott:

-Tiger Fan: Why doesn’t Quin ever put Grimes in at power forward with KY at center to get some rebounds?

-Scott: Cuz that would fall under the category of "halftime adjustments" and our coaches don't make those.

9:13: With Mizzou down 13, Scott’s girlfriend Heather weighs in with this gem: “I think I’m going to try to spend the whole weekend drunk. The only way to deal with Mizzou athletics is intoxicated.”

9:18: Now down 16, Mike takes the opportunity to point out that our football team isn’t in much better shape. With the early evaluations in on Signing Day, we were out-recruited by Duke in football. I’m going to go run my knuckles across the cheese grater.

9:21: Kevin Young knocks down two straight free throws, leading to the disturbing observation that he is our second best free throw shooter. We are an injury away from Kevin Young shooting technical free throws.

9:28: With some actual basketball insight, Scott points out that our big men are offering no resistance at all. Any perimeter player who gets past the first line of defense can do whatever he wants. In the meantime, Shawn and I have switched briefly to MTV and are trying to figure out who the “famous” guy is on Cribs.

9:33: Mizzou falls behind 54-35… but as long as we can cut this to 11 with 1:30 to play, we should be fine… right kansas?

9:35: But it appears Snyder has conceded the game with Lawrence, Dandridge and Grimes all on the floor together.

9:43: With this game fully in hand for the Longhorns, we learn that things aren’t much better for the Denver Nuggets. Linas Kleiza has checked in because of foul trouble.

9:47: We come back from commercial to see that a women’s game is now being played at Mizzou Arena. Oh wait, it just looks that way because half the crowd has left during the break.

9:53: Fran Frascilla just went John Madden on us, pointing out that Mizzou isn’t winning because they haven’t made many shots. Insightful.

9:56: Ball game. Shawn points out that if we had actually won the last three games, losing to Texas by less than 20 could be a moral victory. But we didn’t. So its just another nail in the coffin for Quin… er… Coach Snyder.


Keegs said...

WTF! Yellow Suit Guy imitators?! BS!!!!!!!

Net Head said...

I actually have run my knuckle across a cheese grater.
Not fun.
I'll show you the scar sometime.
The real question though was did anyone eat a chunk of my knuckle I couldn't find.